Purpose in Pain

So, as I write this, it’s currently 1:06 AM on Thursday, November 30th. This week has been quite a rollercoaster, to be quite honest. My stomach is so upset right now that I can’t sleep (and I’ve slept so much in the last 72 hours to make up for it), so I figured, what better way to kill time than to write a blog post? I have a lot on my mind anyway that I feel like sharing, so here we go. This may be long, but hang in; it’ll be worth it in the end! 

Last Saturday, I was privileged to see one of my favorite 80’s rock bands, “KISS,” live in concert in Indianapolis. The tickets were a 21st birthday present from my “Aunt” Leah (Mom’s best friend who spoils me rotten). It’s their farewell tour, and it was truly an incredible show. There was a time when we didn’t know if the show was going to happen because Paul Stanley, the lead singer of the band, was sick and had canceled a few shows earlier that week, but luckily, thanks to the power of lots of prayers, he was able to get recovered in time to perform this show. He’s still very energetic and wild for his age, and you wouldn’t think he was more than 25. 

So, on Sunday, I drove back to Marion to school from Indianapolis. After giving “Aunt” Leah and her husband, Dale, a tour of my campus, I unloaded all of my stuff out of my car into my dorm room and then took a small power nap before waking up to organize everything and prepare for this week. Being a type-A personality, I often find the best way to accomplish things is to make a To-Do list of things that need to be done and just check them off one by one. As I started making my To-Do list of everything I had to do over the next two weeks before finals, I quickly became easily overwhelmed with the amount of academic work I had to do between papers and projects and studying for the Final Exams. I worked on some and then went to the Consecration service that I regularly attend on Sunday Nights in our chapel, where a group of on-campus student leaders gather to pray over the campus, things happening throughout the week, for each other, and many other things. It was an amazing experience as usual, but then I returned to my dorm, watched TV to unwind a bit, and then went to bed. 

Monday Morning, I woke up feeling like absolute trash. I had quite a large headache, my stomach was in a huge knot, and I just felt physically weak. I dragged myself to my first class, and after sitting through half of it, I left and returned to my dorm and just crashed in my bed. Based on my symptoms, I had pretty much figured out that I had the Flu Bug. So, I needed a validated excuse note so I wouldn’t get docked points for missing class the next day, which is how I ended up seeing one of our on-campus nurses in the Health Clinic. After asking me some questions and taking my vitals, they confirmed that I did indeed have a stomach virus and that I needed to stay away from people, get lots of rest, and drink plenty of fluids (The usual stuff). Unfortunately, that’s the way this week has been so far. I’ve been resting, not doing anything (which kills me), and drinking plenty of fluids. I’ve done some praying about the pain I physically feel with my stomach being upset and I think God has really used my time in solitude this week to show me that he truly has a purpose for everything, including my pain. 

Even though I might not feel the best physically, I truly felt like God was with me Sunday Night when I looked at my to-do list and felt overwhelmed with everything I had to do. I truly felt like he has used this week to give me rest and remind me that I need to slow down and not be so busy all the time. So often, when we get busy, our priorities get shifted around, and our time with God goes down on our priority list instead of remaining at the very top of our list as it should be. I have a quote on the wall in my room that reads, “When we work, we work. When we Pray, God works”. I find that to be so true. Yesterday and today, I’ve been in a little bit of a hard place because my stomach is upset because I haven’t eaten much, but at the same time, it seems like whenever I eat anything, it makes my stomach more upset. As I lay in bed tonight in pain, I found myself asking, “Why me?” “Why now?” “What’s the purpose?”

As I think about it, though, I’m reminded that God has a purpose for EVERYTHING, even our pain. The purpose of MY pain this week was to slow me down truly and it’s done just that. Being such a busy and social person, I’ve found myself frustrated that I haven’t felt physically well enough to get out of my room, to hang out with my friends, to do much of anything really. Sometimes, God takes away everything that we find important to remind us of what’s truly important, and that’s our relationship with Him. 

Are these next two weeks going to be stressful academically? Absolutely. Will I get through it? Absolutely. Will God be with me every step of the way? Again, guaranteed. Enough Said. 

God Bless! 

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